By Lola

If you’ve been reading the prensa amarillista, the sensationalist—and, unfortunately, very vocal—arm of the press, you’ll have stumbled upon headlines that read “Paul McCartney’s tour bus attacked by mob in Mexico” (azcentral.com) or “Paul McCartney attacked by thugs in Mexico” (World Entertainment News Network). Apparently Sir Paul’s bus ventured into a not-so-shiny part of Mexico City after two very, very successful concerts. His obviously not-from-the-barrio tour bus was surrounded by ardent fans, who proceeded to mob his vehicle and literally crawl up on the roof. Oh. My. God. A Beatle? Mobbed??? Heavens, what is this world coming to?

When a superstar literally fears for his or her safety because of over-zealous fans, it’s time to throw in the towel. I mean, hard-working celebrities losing their shirts, people grabbing at them, invading their space… What’s next?

In my próxima vida, when I’m a mega-celebrity, I will simply helicopter in and out or my brief appearances and live on a secluded island to preclude thuggy fan attacks.